


Cupcakes and Love Potions

by IncendiaGlacies



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: But for some reason there's a lot of talk about magic, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, RipFic, The Scarlet Letter references, This isn't actually a magical AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 09:36:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16553333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: “I looked at a married man. Practically lusted over him. I’m an adulteress! They should just put a scarlet A on my clothes and call it a day!”In which Gideon pines over a married man, Rip is horrible at flirting, Sara makes wedding scrapbooks, Nora just wants to hex somebody, Zari is the only sane person, Jonas is wise beyond his years. Oh, and Miranda is probably laughing from the great beyond.





	Cupcakes and Love Potions

**Author's Note:**

> Some of my funniest stuff if I do say so myself...

Gideon sighed and leaned against the doorway, sliding down the door. No response. She sighed even louder. Still nothing. She pulled off her heel and threw it through the kitchen entry.

“Ow!” Zari came out of the kitchen holding the offending shoe and glared. “You lost this?”

“I just met the most perfect man!”

“Then why do you look like someone killed your kitten?”

“He’s absolutely perfect, with just one itty, bitty, tiny problem. He’s married.” Gideon choked back a sob and banged her head against the door. Her eyes flew open again. “Wait, did something bad happen to Whiskers? Because that would be even worse but honestly it’s that kind of day.”

“Your cat is fine,” Zari assured her. On command the kitten bounded out and into Gideon’s arms. Zari pulled them both up. “Come on. Have a seat. I’ll get you your tea and you can tell me all about this perfect man.”

“He’s married!” Gideon sobbed loudly. Zari rolled her eyes and patted both the cat and Gideon before heading to the kitchen. She came back a few minutes later with a mug of tea and sat patiently. Gideon sighed loudly.

“His name is Rip Hunter,” Gideon gushed. “New museum director and he’s perfect. Kind, dry sense of humour, a very attractive beard, maybe a bit of a large nose but it works on him. And he made rounds to everyone on the museum staff. Everyone! Even me, a simple security coder. He actually, genuinely cares about people. And he joked with me, I thought he was funny and he looked happy at that and then…and then I saw his wedding ring! Zee, I’m a homewrecker!”

Zari pulled Gideon into her arms and stroked her hair. “You’re not a homewrecker, Gigi. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I looked at a married man. Practically lusted over him. I’m an adulteress! They should just put a scarlet A on my clothes and call it a day!”

“Gideon, don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“No!”

“Okay, look, just don’t make any moves on him, okay?” Zari said logically. “You’re not a homewrecker, just try and avoid him if you can and ignore him as politely as possible. Smile and nod and then give him the cold shoulder. You are not going after a married man.”

“He’s perfect,” Gideon moaned again.

But the next time she saw him, Gideon smiled and turned the other way, taking a deep breath to slow her beating heart. She completely missed how Rip’s face dropped when he got ignored.

* * *

 

“I need help!” Rip yelled as he walked through his front door.

“Yes, you look stupid. Next question,” Sara answered bluntly. Rip glared at her and swatted her with a newspaper before stealing her controller. Jonas cheered as he won the videogame and Sara threatened to stab him with a knife.

“I pay you to babysit. Now hush and listen to my problems.”

Sara sighed and opened her arms. “Aww, does wittle Rip need a hug? C’mere and tell Mama what’s wrong.”

Rip shook his head at her and hugged his son instead. “So there’s this…woman.”

“Oooooh!”

“About time, Dad!”

“Would the two of you stop it!” Rip scolded them. “I work with her, technically I suppose, I’m her boss in a way. But really she’s computers so her line of bosses are other people not me. But she’s rather pretty and nice.”

“And you liiiike her!” Sara teased before high-fiving Jonas. “Told you wasn’t completely hopeless.”

“No you didn’t,” Jonas argued. “I told you there was hope and you said there wasn’t.”

Sara shrugged. “Same thing.”

“Thank you so much for the vote of confidence, the both of you,” Rip said sarcastically.

“Sorry Dad.” Jonas leaned into his father’s side and allowed Rip to put an arm around him. “So who’s the lady?”

“Her name is Gideon. She’s pretty-”

“Hair colour?” Sara interrogated.

“Brunette.”

“Eyes?”

“Grey.”

“Sounds like Miranda. Someone’s got a type.” Sara let out a low whistle. Rip threw a pillow at her.

“She’s nice, and rather brilliant, and she laughs at my jokes-”

“Marry her!” Sara and Jonas said at once.

“Short term goals for now, people. I thought we were getting along, making good headway. I had a two month plan in mind-” Sara snorted loudly and Jonas hid a laugh “-shut up the both of you. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared!”

“So what’s wrong?” Jonas asked.

“Well, the past few days she’s been outright ignoring me. Literally just turning and walking the other way when she sees me coming.”

“Maybe the big nose was a turn off,” Sara said seriously. This time Jonas hit her with a pillow. “Ow! Knock it off, you brat! Look, maybe she’s just not interested.”

“She laughed at his jokes,” Jonas repeated. “Dad’s not funny.”

“No, I’m Rip.”

“You see?”

“Point taken,” Sara agreed.

“What do I do?” Rip pleaded.

“Dad, I’m twelve. You don’t let me date. How am I supposed to help? Are you gonna let me date?”

“Absolutely not. When you’re forty, maybe. Fifty, preferably.”

“He’s got his eyes set on the other me,” Sara gushed.

“Oh, well Little Sara is rather sweet,” Rip said.

“Okay! I get it, no dating! Just please stop and help Dad with his love life. Now.”

“Well, how’d you ask out Miranda?” Sara asked. Both Rip and Jonas gave her a look and Jonas shook his head.

“She asked me out. And proposed. I sort of just said yes to everything,” Rip admitted.

“Mom would be rolling in her grave right now,” Jonas said sadly.

“Hey Jonas, it’s been six years. I’m sure your mother would be fine with your father moving forward,” Sara said kindly.

“No. She’d be rolling in her grave with laughter thinking about Dad trying to flirt with someone,” Jonas corrected her.

“Probably,” Rip said drily. Miranda always did get great joy and amusement watching his social interactions and making him squirm. One of the things he had loved most about her. “Now, help?”

“Rip, Rip, Rip, I am about to give you the best dating advice you will ever hear,” Sara said. She leaned in close to them both. “The best way into a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Bake her some cupcakes! And then give me the extras.”

“Should have known you’d have an ulterior motive.”

“But I’m right. Now, away with you! I banish you to the kitchen. Make us cupcakes!”

“With icing!” Jonas added.

“I better get a date out of this.” Rip sighed and got off the couch. “And you’re helping, Mister.” This time Jonas sighed as Rip pulled him up too.

“I hope you get a date too. And I hope she knows how to cook!”

* * *

 

Rip cleared his throat, waiting for Gideon to acknowledge him. She froze but didn’t look up at him once. A pang went through his heart. He was already so far gone for this woman. Miranda would laugh at him if she saw. And then encourage him to go for it.

“Uh, Gideon. Did you want a cupcake by chance?” Rip asked timidly.

Gideon looked up from her computer to where he was standing in the doorway. “Cupcakes?”

“Yes. I made a batch, with my son-”

“You have a son?”

“Yes.” Rip smiled at her, glad she had asked. He wanted any woman he liked to care about his son. “His name is Jonas. Anyways, I baked and he iced. Brought them for the museum staff and I couldn’t help but notice you didn’t come by to grab one yet. So, I brought you an assortment.”

“What kinds?”

“Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, carrot cake. Want one?”

“Can I have them all?” Gideon blurted out. Her eyes widened and she looked down in embarrassment.

“Of course.” He set the tray with cupcakes on her desk and smiled at her.

“Thank you. Are you – are you going on the pub crawl later?”

“No. Not tonight. Jonas has a soccer game that I should get to,” Rip said apologetically. Though, if Jonas were here he’d insist Rip go out with Gideon instead.

“Oh. Good for him. Good, you must be very proud.”

“I am.” Rip twisted his wedding ring. Miranda would have been too. It was a true shame she didn’t get to see Jonas grow up.

Gideon cleared her throat and looked away. “I have a lot of work. So um…I’ll get back to it.”

Rip blinked. He felt as though a great big wall had just slammed down between them. He was making headway! She took his cupcakes!

“Right. Of course. I’ll leave you to it.”

Rip wandered outside and hit his head against the wall. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He didn’t even get as far as asking her out on a date! Not one single date! His two month plan was falling drastically behind. Stupid!

“Um, Sir?”

Rip looked up to see Gary Green staring at him concernedly. “Um…just testing the integrity of the walls. Need good museum walls.” He knocked on the wall. “Yup. Solid wall. Good architecture. I’m going to go check another wall. Bye!”

He fled down the hall leaving a very confused Gary behind.

* * *

 

Zari slid into the seat across from Gideon and tugged Nora with her. She looked at Gideon staring at her beer bottle miserably and then back at the crowd, half of which were Gideon’s coworkers on the pub crawl.

“So, which one is your Rip?”

“He’s not mine. And he’s not here. He’s with his son. Because he’s married. He has offspring!” Gideon lamented and chugged some more beer.

“How many of those have you had?” Zari asked worriedly.

“Dunno. Three, four? What does it matter? I’m going to die alone with a hundred cats anyways! I’m going to be an old cat lady. Whiskers is just my first!”

Zari reached out and patted Gideon’s hand. Nora stirred her drink, bored. “Who’s Rip?”

“The love of my life!”

“And he’s married?” Nora asked. Gideon nodded and put her head on the table. “That’s inconvenient.”

Gideon sobbed. “I just want what you and Zee have! True love! With the fairytale ending. The birds chirping and animals doing all my chores. I want a Disney ending!”

“You’re starting to sound like Ray now,” Zari said.

“Ugh. Ray. So annoying.” Nora rolled her eyes.

“You didn’t have to hex him-”

“He asked me how my day was! And he was smiling way too much!”

“He was being nice.”

“Nobody is that nice. Not without an ulterior motive!”

“You guys! My love live. Me!” Gideon waved her arms. “We’re mourning me!”

Nora sighed. “Do you want me to give you a love potion?”

“No. That just sounds wrong.” Gideon shook her head. “That’s not real consent.”

“Did you ever use a love potion on me?” Zari asked slowly.

“No, dear. That was fate.” Nora clutched Zari’s hands and smiled at her lovingly. Gideon thought she still looked a little scary.

“Guys!” Gideon threw a napkin at them before they could start snogging while she sat there single, alone. An old maid.

“Do you want a curse on the wife?” Nora offered.

Gideon gasped. “No, no! That would be cruel!”

“Well if you don’t want a magical solution then I can’t help you.” Nora huffed and crossed her arms. “Not my problem.”

“Why do all your solutions involve magic and hexes and curses?” Zari asked.

“It’s effective.”

“I don’t need magic,” Gideon slurred. “I know what I need – I – I need more alcohol! An alcoholic solution!”

That would surely make her forget her adultering…adultery?...adulting? Whatever, Gideon needed another drink to forget about Rip Hunter.

* * *

 

“Dad, your ice cream is melting.”

“Not now, Jonas. I’m bemoaning the fact that I’m going to die alone.”

Jonas patted his father’s shoulder where he was lying in the grass. “Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll look after you in your old age.”

“Oh Jonas, that’s so sweet. But we both know you’d sell me out for the newest Alien Invasions game.”

“The graphics are supposed to be amazing!”

“I’m still not buying it for you until Christmas,” Rip said. He sighed and lied back down, his vanilla ice cream melting off its cone.

“Do you miss Mom?”

“Every day,” Rip said, touching his ring. He sat up then. “But today, that is not what this is about.”

“It’s about that other woman isn’t it? Gideon?”

Rip nodded. “She’s blatantly ignoring me. Sometimes she’ll laugh at my jokes and then she’ll just shut down. Other times she’ll see me walking and close her door or just turn in the other direction. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“There, there.” Jonas patted his shoulder and leaned against his father. “I’m sure she likes you. She laughs at your jokes.”

“Or maybe she just has a good sense of humor unlike you!”

“Sara says I get it from you, so really you’re just digging yourself into a hole here.”

Rip rolled his eyes and cuffed Jonas’ head. “Stop being such a smart-aleck and help your old man out.”

“Have you considered just asking her out?”

“I’m working up to it.”

“Dad.” Jonas placed his chocolate stained hands on Rip’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “It’s been three months. The time is now. Step up and be a man!”

“What shows have you been watching? I will cut the cable line, mister!”

“Dad! Just ask her out! Mom didn’t hesitate to ask you out!”

“Your mother was bold and beautiful and brilliant in every way,” Rip reminded him.

“I’m sure some of it rubbed off on you. Oh, or we could have a séance and have you channel her spirit!”

Rip stared at his child. “Right, no more late night shows or horror movies with you. And no Ouija boards either.”

“Ask her out. Worst that can happen is she says no.”

“When did you get so wise?”

“Middle school is rough,” Jonas said sagely. “And I’m gonna ask Sara to hang out. Maybe go to the seventh grade dance.”

“Please tell me you mean Little Sara and not your babysitter Sara?”

“Ewwww! The Sara that’s my age.”

“Oh thank goodness.” Rip placed a hand over his heart. “I’m far too young to have a heart attack like that. And you’re still not allowed to date.”

“I know. I said ‘hang out’. And you are old. I saw a grey hair on you the other day.”

“Oh well it’s genetic. You have a lot too.”

Jonas frowned and ran a hand through his hair, so much like his father. “No, I don’t!”

“Sure you do. Right there.” Rip upended his ice cream cone onto Jonas’ head. The boy shrieked and threw his own ice cream at Rip’s shirt causing him to laugh. The two spent the rest of the afternoon in an all-out ice cream war. There were casualties, losses, no declared winner, and a lot of yelling from Sara when she came to visit later. But it was worth it.

* * *

 

Rip took a deep breath and knocked on Gideon’s door before entering her small office. Hopefully, he would catch her before she packed up and left completely.

“Gideon, I was wondering – oh, you have company.”

Gideon looked up from her screen and smiled at him with a dazed look in her eyes before she shook herself. “Rip – Director Hunter! This is my roommate Zari, and her girlfriend Nora.” The two women waved and Rip nodded in return.

“Right, I should come back. Another time.” Ask her out! Brilliant plan! That was the last time he would take love advice from his twelve year old.

“Oh, no, don’t mind us. Please, continue your very important conversation that you needed to close the door for,” Zari said.

Rip looked at the closed door. He hadn’t even realized that had happened. Turning a deep red and feeling uncomfortably hot, he cleared his throat multiple times. “Right, well, it was just supposed to be private, I just wanted to see if Gideon would like to go on a date with me, clearly this was bad timing and-”

“You wanted to ask me out on a date?” Gideon interrupted him, staring at him with wide eyes. Oh, he could get lost in them for days.

“Yes.”

“What, why? I don’t understand.”

“Did you not see me flirting with you? The smiling and the cupcakes and everything?” Rip asked incredulously. Was he that bad at it? “This is what I get for taking dating advice from my son.”

Abruptly, Gideon burst into tears and Zari moved to rub her back in comfort. Rip stared, a little shell-shocked at the sight while Nora glared at him.

“I’m a homewrecker!” Gideon sobbed uncontrollably. “Hester Prynne has nothing on me! I broke a marriage, a family! Nora used a curse, didn’t she? Oh, this is all my fault! They should burn me at the stake for this!”

Of course, with all the wailing, half her words were lost and garbled and Rip was left frowning, trying to comprehend what she had said.

“I understood maybe twenty percent of that. Was there a yes in there somewhere?” Rip asked hopefully.

More wailing. Honestly, he wasn’t that bad of a date, was he? Surely not, Miranda married him after all. She asked him!

“Yes, she says yes!” Zari yelled over Gideon’s shrieks.

“Are-are you sure? Because she’s still crying,” he said.

“Tears of joy. I assure you.” Zari pushed some tissues Gideon’s way as she hiccupped and tried to get her emotions under control.

“What about your wife?” Nora demanded.

“What?” Nora pointed to his ring and Rip covered it automatically. “Oh, I’m widowed.”

“Your curse killed her?!” Gideon started a new round of tears and Zari gave up. There weren’t enough tissues to deal with this. “Oh, how could you! I’m so sorry!”

“What? No! I’ve been widowed for six years. I just – I still wear my ring is all. I just miss her. Though, I’m sure Miranda’s laughing at me watching this from wherever she is right now.”

Gideon sniffled. “So, it’s not my fault?”

“That my wife died? No. I am however completely blaming you for making me like you. You can make it up to me by going on a date with me.”

Gideon hiccupped noisily.

“I know seventeen different hexes,” Nora warned him.

“Again, why do all your responses have hexes and curses in them?” Zari asked.

“Why do yours not?”

“You should meet my friend Sara, a lot of her threats start the same way,” Rip said. Though, more with physical rather than magical violence. “Now, I hate to be rude, but would you mind if I have the room for a few minutes?”

Zari grabbed her still glaring girlfriend and pulled her out of the office, shutting the door behind her. Rip looked back at Gideon.

“So, about that date…”

“Just to be clear, you’re widowed, not involved with anyone else at all?”

“It’s just me and my son,” Rip assured her. “Is that all right?”

Gideon nodded slowly. “Your wife isn’t going to come back and haunt me, is she?”

“No, I’m sure she’s a benevolent spirit if anything. At most she’d just want to gossip with you and get you to make fun of me.”

“Okay. I would like to go on that date. Now that I know I’m not a mistress.”

Rip laughed. “Is that why you’ve been saying no to me? And here I thought it was because of my big nose.”

“I like your nose,” she said shyly.

“Marry me?” Rip blurted out.

“You have to go on a real date before you talk about marriage!” Zari yelled through the door. Rip blinked in surprise. Clearly, they hadn’t gone very far.

“Well, that’s really going to put a damper on the wedding scrapbook my son and Sara have been making for me.” He wished he were joking.

“I like spring weddings. And I want my cat Whiskers to be the best man,” Gideon said.

“Jonas wants a chocolate fountain and Sara wants an open bar. We can make it work.”

Outside, Nora held a frustrated Zari who was close to exploding at the couple. Gideon stared at the door in slight worry over her friend.

“But first that date?” Rip asked, grabbing her attention again.

“Yes. Definitely yes.” Gideon smiled at him. “Then the wedding.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you were wondering, yes, they do discuss their wedding details on their first date!


End file.
